EU narrative

Season’s greetings

While Belgium introduced COVID restrictions for Santa Claus (“he can come down the chimney but he must leave through the window, climbing down the gutter”), DG MEME was given a glimpse of a few last-minute letters to Santa from prominent European figures:

“Dear Santa, thanks for giving us a Deal! It is obvious that reindeer are better than unicorns! I still have a little truck mess in Kent, could you help me with the logistics?”

“Dear Mr. Claus, I was resilient all year long and I took stock of many things. Could you please ensure that I don’t have to negotiate with the U.K. anymore?”
Michel (the sexy one)

“Caro Babbo Natale. Why did you deliver my present to Strasbourg? Brussels is my favorite seat — and always will be.”

“Dear Santa, as a mother of seven I know how hard it is to find appropriate presents. Do you have any toys in mind to keep Orbán, Janša and Morawiecki busy?”

“Liebes Christkindl. As you can see, I got acquainted with Austrian culture. Can you now please end my exile and send me back to Brussels? That’s where I belong, heasd!”
Martin Bonaparte

“Kære Julemand. Thanks for the present, it arrived a few days earlier than expected. First we’ll stop their servers, then their unfair competition. ¡Hasta la Victoria!”
Queen Margrethe of the Internal Market

“Hey buddy! I am very busy with the Green Deal, so I don’t have time to stand in for you like last year. By the way, I think delivering coal to Manfred was a good idea: he has been a good boy ever since.”

“Cher Papa Noël, whén I askéd for mültilingüism in ze Còmmission, I jast meant more français, not more Gérman. Can you correct, plìs? Merci à vous!”

DG MEME wishes you all a Merry Christmas! It is a very difficult period for all of us and it is more important than ever to be united and put egos aside. By the way, who is going to lead the Conference on the Future of Europe?

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