The Irish Paschal Donohoe, Eurogroup President 2020-2022, presented his special recipe to solve the Euro’s problems

The Eurogroup is an informal meeting of Eurozone finance ministers, currently counting 19 members. Its main aim is keeping alive the old European stereotypes about the productive northerners and the lazy southerners. The president of the Eurogroup is a white male minister elected by the Eurogroup members and is in charge for a quarter of capitalism crisis cycle (2.5 years).

“The countries of the North have shown solidarity with the countries affected by the euro crisis. I attribute exceptional importance to solidarity but you also have obligations. You can not spend all the money on drinks and women and then ask for help.”
Jeroen Dijsselbloem, former President of the Eurogroup

Despite of his remarks, Jeroen Dijsselbloem spent much time in company of this mysterious charming woman that journalists nicknamed ‘the French Cougar’

From time to time, the Eurogroup also exercises political control over the € currency, which implies some heated discussions with Germany the independent European Central Bank.

The Eurogroup is mentioned in the Treaty of Lisbon, section Weird Ideas We Agreed Upon After 4AM. As such it has a very opaque minimalist legal basis. To no surprise is has often been criticized for:

  • not publishing any agenda and having too many informal proceedings
  • serving cold coffees
  • being dominated by Germany and its vassal states a restricted number of countries (troika)
  • lack of accountability towards the European Parliament
  • destroying Greece
A former commissioner described the Eurogroup as “a pale imitation of a democratic body” and everybody took it as a big compliment

The Eurogroup’s much cooler former name was Euro-X, in relation to the 10 member states adopting the Euro. Then it became Euro-XI and finally Eurogroup, as latin numbers are sometimes tricky to handle. DG MEME started a petition to rename it €-XIX.