EPSO test rush

The EPSO test is a popular lottery of the European Institutions, with incredible prizes such as permanent jobs, pompous titles, generous salaries and unspeakable benefits. Many people try their luck every year, moving around the intricacies of the registration process, passing through the lengthy selection procedures and surviving the hell of the waiting lists. Passing the test will grant you a White Badge.

“The fat grapes the fox could not reach, for all his labour,
it left them declaring, they’re not ripe yet.”
[Aesop’s fables n° 15, a favourite of white badges]

EPSO abstract reasoningSometimes the desire to try these tests reaches the level of addiction, or epsoism, as World Health Organization calls it. This sickness starts with soft tests like contractagentjuana and slowly move to synthetic ones like FGIV and L(A)ST. The final stage is taking generalistocaine, which has life-long effects on the human brain.

Candidates who pass the EPSO test certainly demonstrate resilience, determination and the ability to solve odd puzzles, which can be useful should you spend your working hours solving crosswords. Deep inside participants and winners know that this might be a questionable way of selecting the European elite of the future, but the rewards are so tempting that they keep applying and crossing their fingers.

Choose a life. Choose a job. Choose a EU Career. Choose a Unit. Choose an option from the abstract reasoning and wonder why the heck you are studying on a Saturday morning. Choose to sit on that couch reading mind-numbing, spirit crushing test simulations, stucking frites and waffels into your mouth… [EPSOspotting, 1993]