SOTEU, the Musical!

Another SOTEUSOTEU, State of the European UnionSOTEU (short for Sound Of The European Union ) is the most successful musical of the EU Bubble. It is performed once a year in front of the whole European Parliament, usually in Strasbourg, though SOTEU 2020 was held in is just around the corner and it’s great for SEO to write an article about it just a few hours before it starts. In the past, DG MEME lobbied hard to turn SOTEU into a musical. If we’re going to take up so much of our officials’ time and budget, we might as well produce a work of art that can resonates throughout the EU. In a shocking blow to European culture, senileior management rejected our proposal.

We went ahead anyway. Here are the results.

Jump outta bed, tick in Sysper my presence
Pour myself a cup of resilience
That’s my European way of Life.

Skipping the shower, can’t afford the heating
Rush away to yet another meeting
With folks like me who work from dawn to dusk.

Working dawn to dusk for the European values
It’s a daunting task, but I aim for raving reviews
Handing out the cash, but they never give you credit
I might keep it if your courts of law aren’t legit.

Dawn to dusk for equality and justice
come on citizens, show me now what trust is
I will give you all a vision for the future
Where all are equal, none will persecute ya’

The growing piles of the files on my desk
reflects a world getting more Kafkaesque
but I can tell who’s friend and who is foe
facing adversity we’re standing tall
big on big things though I may look small
And the tide’s gonna turn
thanks to EU, but most thanks to Joe

Working day and night
Which is in my job description
working hard for me is just like an addiction
and to do what’s right
stop Stolichnaya and blini
Flinten-Uschi goes ”Slava Ukraini”

Day and night
The staff is all behind me
Follow my baton
Be the union constructors
Thierry and Frans
Are just semi-conductors
Margrethe too with her online infrastructures

Day and night
A Team of Twenty-seven
In the golden cage
In eurocratic heaven
Only me on stage
Leave the others in my shadow
Or maybe just let Valdis get a cameo

Anything can happen if you let it
Sometimes things are difficult but you can bet it
Doesn’t have to be so
Changes can be made
Take stock of achievements and you’ll reach a higher grade
Harmonise a sector and then green it
draft a boring roadmap
just like you mean it
Stretch your mind beyond fantastic
we have banned all - one-time plastic
set a climate target and a name
fit for 55, ok that’s lame…

(I wonder...)

Anything can happen – a pandemic
lockdowns muted EU in one abrupt click
but I am a doctor
knew what must be done
Vaccinating Europe yes we’ll jab you one by one
Anything can happen, just imagine
That should be my epitaph
I wear the badge in
honour of the founding daddies
I am fighting - all the baddies
Values are my arms – if you forgot…
get a rule of law booster shot

Anything can happen if you fund it
Horizontal frameworks,
ambitious actions
Broaden your horizons
climb the highest hill
the next young generation will have to foot the bill

If you have no seat
at the table
united in diversity
was just a fable

find an ottoman to sit on
You are not some-one to spit on
get a hobby horse then pirouette it
you can jump the obstacles I bet it

Just you whip out your phone
you can do it alone
And we’ve found a whole new spin
relaunch, upgrade, deliver
and let the fun begin

Antidemocrats, disinfo lying
Governments that simply are not complying
Grab them by the collar, seize them by the scruff
Of formal notice letters, we just can’t get enough

Anything can happen an official
You can choose the super or the super national
Focus on the way we’re steering
Obstacles start disappearing

And the future will be what we make it
Europe will be what we
Europe will be what we
Europe will be what we
want it to be

Rainbows in Poland and climate ambitions
Bright female leaders and digital visions
Going to StrasbourgStrasbourgStrasbourg (abbr. STR) is the place you don't want to go to. It is also one of the seats of the European Parliament (together with BRU and LUX). Conveniently located between the Vosges mountains and the Kingdom of Mordor for big gatherings
These are a few of my favourite things!

Free-trade agreements with Asian partners
Repatriate tourists from Thailand with charters
Beating Vladimir producing vaccines
These are a few of my favourite things!

Hiring consultants and wiping off phones
pretending kick-offs are already milestones
engulfing the Web with useless controls
These are a few of my least-liked goals!

UK provokes
and Novi chokes
Oh, it drives me mad!
But then I remember my favourite things,
And then I don’t feel so bad!

Green-coloured energy pumped through our pipelines
Lithium batteries from our own mines
Stop climate change and see young Greta smile
These are the things that I hope to provide.